Entry #8: My Experience with COVID-19

PLEASE LET ME START OFF BY SAYING THAT THIS IS THROUGH MY PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE; I AM NOT A DOCTOR.

COVID-19 has taught me a couple things:

This year I set out to reclaim my self-love, but I couldn’t stop judging myself based on “my perspective” of other peoples lives. I know it’s normal to grow apart as friends start to find their own life’s journey, but I wasn’t fully prepared to watch it happen. I love being able to watch through social media as we all grow up, but there just came a point where I felt that I stopped growing. I stopped reaching out. And I stopped living. During this time a virus had swept our nation putting a lot of states into lockdown. I no longer had the option of going out to be with friends. I lived on this constant loop and I didn’t deviate.

Then:

Two weeks ago… my life came to a halt. It was a normal day like any other. It was Friday, July 17th, 2020 and I had just gotten off work and was going to video chat some friends. It got to be time to take my dogs out to go to the bathroom and I started feeling really bad, so I took my temperature. The thermometer read 102° F. I tried laying down for the rest of the night, but that night quickly turned upside down when it felt like I had suddenly come down with the worst case of the Flu (or something) and my lungs were on fire. The next day I made an appointment to go get tested for COVID-19.

According to the CDC, COVID-19 also known as “coronavirus disease 2019” is an upper-respiratory tract illness. By this point it had become a nationwide pandemic. This virus seemed to come from left field with reports of cases skyrocketing and even deaths. I try to keep ignorant about a lot of things going on in the news, but I was soon to discover this disease first hand.

July 20th, 2020 my test came back positive for COVID-19. I was told to take over-the-counter medication to alleviate the symptoms. I took NyQuil/DayQuil for the flu like symptoms, Mucinex for the crud that just wouldn’t get out of my throat, and ibuprofen for the headaches and body aches (to which there was A LOT of). Day-by-day my appetite became more and more nonexistent and just like that I had gone close to 9 days without eating anything at all. It got to the point were my body just wasn’t used to food anymore and I started rejecting (throwing up) everything I ate or drank (even water). Upon calling my doctor, it was determined that on July 26th I needed to go to the ER, but it wasn’t just the malnutrition that was scary. Without realizing it my oxygen levels had gotten really low. The hospital decided that they needed to monitor my oxygen levels and put me on a hydration and vitamin drip. Due to the type of disease that COVID-19 is they needed to monitor my hydration/vitamin drip, because fluid build up in the lungs is a high risk symptom of this illness. I was also started on steroids that were to replace all medication as well as an inhaler for just in case my breathing became shallow again.

July 28th, 2020 I was released from the hospital with a portable oxygen tank, my new inhaler, and the remaining 7 days of the steroid pack. Since being released I have had a hard time readjusting to life mentally as I’ve been very disoriented. As I previously mentioned above, I’ve been on a constant loop of normalcy. I had a routine. Then one day I got sick and somehow my life stopped for two weeks, but the world kept going without me.

I am very thankful to the people that stepped up on my behalf, but coming back home to recover - it’s felt like I am on autopilot. I came home to no change. My animals where healthy like I hadn’t even been gone and that set off a tiny disconnect in my brain that told me that they weren’t even mine. I needed my routine back, but I didn’t know how to voice how I was feeling and I didn’t have the energy to deal with it. This last week I had to piece together where the last two weeks went. The confusion is slowly subsiding and I’m starting to feel normal again, but this new way that I am feeling has me thinking…I need normalcy and routine, and that’s okay.

It is now Sunday, August 2nd, 2020: Physically, I am hoping to use the next week to do what the doctor has ordered and get my lungs health back up. I am still having some troubles deep breathing, but with everyday I can feel my lungs getting stronger and I have an healthier appetite (so that’s good).

My Take-A-Way: Take every moment you’re given and realize if this is where you are okay being once the moment has passed.

Before getting sick, I felt stuck. Now, I have a new understanding: I need a set routine in my life and that’s okay.

It’s okay to realize what it is you need… It’s also okay not to know.